But now they're going down.....

I'm ill. Great. I have a temperature and an evil looking rash and I'm shivering even though its 20 degree's. Trust me to be ill in half term. *sigh* Mum says I have to go to the doctor's tomorrow....

Things are picking up.....

Hey guys, thanks for your concern for my last post. It really means a lot to me that real people are reading this wacko little blog and sympahising with some of my problems. Like the title suggests, things are picking up for me a little. My dad and I sort of made friends again yesterday when we went for a walk with my cousins down conway beach. So all I have to do now is hold my tongue when I'm about him and not set him off!
At the beach the tide was right in and I got drenched. I acted as a sheild for the rest of my family because when a massive wave came over the barrier it landed on me and didn't even touch anyone else. Grrr! Now I can see why people say 'the wind was roaring' because it does! Its like a wild beast is screaming and roaring inside your ear, numbing you to any other sounds. It really makes your ears ring!
We saw so many jellyfish! I counted around 50, all washed up under the foam. We saw this massive red one with really long teniticles- we could see its innards! It was absolutely amazing!

~Katkin

Glum

I should be happy because the exams are over, but that bout of happiness was short lived. I'm feeling depressed because I wanted to do some baking with my mum (millionare shortbread) but she got narked at me and told me that she didn't friggin want to bake with me. So I attempted to make it without her. The shortbread went crumblely and I left it in the oven for to long so it burnt. Mum came down at the burning smell, sighed and raised an eyebrow saying that I might as well finish off what i had started. So I made the caramel. Oh God..... It began to boil and I had a mini panic attack because it bubbled and frothed, burning my hands badly. Mum didn't paticully care, she sort of inclined with her body language that it was my fault. The caramel ended up being too runny with burnt bits in. I added too much butter to the chocolate so it ended up like nutella. I'm such an idiot. The baking session which I intened to be a fun activitey to do with my mum was a utter dissater and shes exasperated with me. Its complete roll reversal, because aren't the parents ment to be the ones who organise family activites? I'm 12 for God's sake, I should be the one getting looked after and included in family activies- not the one organising them! I'm coming to my wills end; soon I will stop doing stuff like this and stay in my room doing my own things. Why should I be the one trying to hold my family together? I'm going to let go and let my parents sort out the stuff.
I don't think my dad knows me. I'm not even sure if he loves me. He never wants to spend time with me or talk. He always snaps and says that what I do 'isn't good enough.' If I ignore him when he snaps, he says I'm sulking, if I reply in a civil manner he shouts 'don't take that tone of voice with me young lady!' Its a loose-loose situation. He needs to learn that although he's my father, he's not my master. I am not his slave, he can't bend me to do his will. The other day he tried to stop me from going to the park. I wish he would just bugger off!

~Katkin

Exams

I hate exams, who doesn't? I have umpteen things I need to be doing to prepare myself for tomorrows onslaught of exams. I have Drama, History and Dt. That's three hours folks! I completely mucked up my art exam today, I was, er, a bit too adventurous with my colour choice.... It was like someone had had a food fight and used my page as a shield! Honest! :P I don't see why we should be tested on art, art comes from inside of you and no one should put a mark on that! Every ones art work, however different, is brilliant. (I exclude myself from that because when it comes to art I'm like a clueless chicken in an paint factory!) My maths exam was AWFUL. Yet again I was working right up to the last second and I didn't get half of the questions. Yesterday I had Physics, Chemistry and French, speaking, reading and writing. I was awful at physics, found Chemistry easy and blew my French speaking. Sure, me and Moocha got level five, but all my 'sophisticated' *humph* answers flew in a torrent straight out of my head!
You all know how stupid I am, right? Well last week I volunteered to be in charge and make all the props for our evacuation drama test. That means: five gas mask boxes, six tags, six hats, scarves and jumpers and numerous sounds of gunshots. I'm a big fat dumbo! That's all due in tomorrow as well as all my History and Dt preparation. Great. You wanna know why part of me offered to make the props? I was making up for my script being rubbish and also kinda trying to impress this boy in my group..... But only slightly! ;)

~Katkin

Diarys

Do you keep a journal? I do, numerous in fact. Today (when I was meant to be reviseing!) I was looking through them all, curious at what my younger self thought of the world. Nothing really, I was, and am, very self centered.
I'm going to give you a taste of what I write (and wrote) in my diarys, because I'm feeling kind/evil.
Here goes!
School Dazs!
Today, the 23rd of January 2008, I went to school. Obviously! At school we had English with Mr Fennly we were writing letters about 'Heated socks'. how riveting! I did one about them socks and I was really proud of it!
After that we had maths, there was the normal scramble to get out of the classroom and into another classroom for our lesson. Today we had a test to test our knowledge. I think I did quite well but I made some mistakes.
Lunch time= playtime! A whole hour of it. This play we did our A.A club (Animal action) It was a big hit, we got ten new members! WOW!
After P.T me, A, A and L went around the school with our raffle, cancer reasearch. When we finished that we realised we had missed half of Art! Next time we will be more careful...
That was written when I was a boring little 10 year old.
When I was just 11.

18.12.08

Dear Diary,
Hello! Today I came 2nd place in a building site poster competition. I got £10 book voucher, and loads of other things. But the bad thing is that first place got an ipod shuffle, so close yet so far... In the morning we had an advent assembly. I GOT TO HOLD A CANDLE! Yay!

Hmm, I didn't lead a very exciting life....

When I was eleven, my summer diary.

18.7.09

Dear Cleo,

Today was the first day of the summer holiday! It is a Saturday so it does not really seem that diferent from normal weekends. Well, theres one slight difference. Today I do not have Ballet, Tap or Modern on! Yay! You see, every saturday I have three hiurs of dancing, Terrible tap, misrable modern, and last, and defently least, boring ballet.

Because last week was my last ever week in Primary school, Mum brought me a disposable camera. I took photos all week!

Ecetra, I won't bore you to death, as that entry is 12 pages long.

When i was 12:

25.12.09

Hiya! At the mo we are setting up a battlestar galactica board game. It looks very complicated, but, like all weird things, I bet it will end up being a laugh.

I can't believe Christmas day has gone so fast! It seems like seconds ago when I woke up and went to mum and dads room. I hate it when things go really fast- it leaves me feeling glum...

Zoom forward to my present day diary:

29.3.10

Dear Diary,

Hello, my name is Katkin and I am 12 years old. I am a aspiring author and at the moment I am writing a novel called 'Another Life'. I am 83 pages in, 25, 260 words. I am only just halfway through, if that. I have the feeling that this book may be able to be classed as an actual novel once I've finished it! It is my dream, my greatest ambition, to have a book published whislt I'm still in high school. Imagine how amazing it would be to have something you have written published and actually in book stores and in librarys. Imagine kids who are given book vouchers and choose to spend them on something that you have wrote and cherished, Imagine that feeling! I know odds are stacked against me, but, I have a feeling that my dream may one day actualy come true.

At school I entered a writing competition and I won first place out of the whole school. Surely that has to mean something?! My story was called 'hybrid of an angel' and although it wasn't the best thing I've ever wrote, I did quite enjoy writing it. Maybe my enjoyment came through in the actual story?

Ok, congratualations if you managed to wade through all those uninterseting diary entrys.

Cheerio!

~Katkin

Did you know...?

That sometimes I go off in a hype? Well now you do. :) Especially when I have an overdose of fizzy pop, blue bom-boms and sunlight. Which is happening quite often now. In RE particuly I sort of just chat and barely do any work, I still get top marks though, which is pretty bizarre, but great. I can do whatever I like because I'm such a goody-goody two shoes! On Friday my school ran out of water, so we got to go home at 1:00 o'clock- it was brill, and roasting. We had english before hand, so instead of doing work Miss took us all outside into the court yard and we were aloud to read! Normally I would jump at the chance to read for half an hour, but I was on such a hye that I could sit still, meek and obeying, so I chatted all lesson. The best thing is- I didn't get told off, unlike every one else who was. Wooo! It pays off being a swot!
Talking bout that, I really need to revise.... Next week I have exams. Arghhhh! Pesky little things, I always fail them.... I have to take a french exam for the first time ever and stupid little me decided to write a page for the speaking test. I have to memorise the whole page! Stupid little me.....

"Fail to prepare; prepare to fail.

~Katkin

I'm melting, I'M MELTING!

No, don't worry, I'm not the wicked witch of the west; but I am melting. You see, here in England it is 26 degree's c and it is ROASTING! I still had to go to Ballet though, my teacher is a slave driver! She worked us harder and harder until all the mirrors were fogged up with our sweat, it was gross. I swear that by the end of it I could have filled buckets by wringing out my leotard!

~ hot and bothered Katkin

Embarrasing moments and pushy teachers.

At Ballet today it was awful because I made such a fool of myself. You see, we were all parading and dancing and jetteying across the room, when I suddenly realised I was the only person in my line who was still dancing! I stopped but my dance teacher barked, "Keep dancing!" So I had no choice but to dance while everyone else from my line stood at the back of the room, laughing there heads off. I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me whole, everyone was laughing- including my teacher! Eeeeeek! Why oh why did that have to happen? I am such an idiot!

One bad thing that happened today was in drama. Last night I slaved over a long and detailed script for our drama exam/ assessment, and I thought I had done quite well. Today in Drama my secondary drama teacher asked to see our piece, before we had ever read through the script. So, as you can imagine, we muddled through half blind like idiots, mumbling our lines and giggling. She basically said it was a load of crap, and that it wasn't very good at all. Yay for me, looked like I wasted my evening for nothing- I was ready to cry. She deleted three quarters of it, and for the other quarter she changed everything about it. I had put so much effort into that script, and researched the war in Afghanistan for so long. Bloody teacher, I don't think she realised how much she was hurting my feelings....

What's the point?

Isn't the reason why we're left to put together exam pieces so we can develop our own styles and find out what works and what doesn't through trial and error? I hate pushy teachers- why won't they let me develop and find stuff out in my own time? I get better results that way, I can't work to the best of my ability on something that teacher teared apart and changed to fit her personality.

Has anything like that ever happened to you?

~Katkin

Friendship

Friendship is like a great tapestry, the good bits and the bad. The little wonky stitches where bad things happen, the dark threads where the ill fated arguments grow, but most of all the bright threads are where the good, fun, memorable times happen. Good times will always triumphant above the bad!

"A friend is someone who knows everything about you- and still loves you regardless!"

"Truth and tears lead the way to a deep friendship."

"Without friends no one would choose to live, even if he had all the goods in the world."

"Gems may be precious, but friends are priceless."

"If all my friends were to jump off a bridge, I wouldn't jump with them. I would be at the bottom to catch them."

Thank you Moocha/ Meatloaf for being such a great friend!

Aren't friends the best?

On a lighter thought...

I might be able to go horse riding with my besto friendo (eating pasta presto) for free! Yipeee! We can groom the horses, clean out the stalls and generally help out! I'M SO EXCITED!!!!!

~Katkin

Just a passing thought.....

I seem to be growing more unpopular by the hour! On Friday I posted about how I was getting left out of things more and more, like at the birthday party. I wrote about how that weekend all my best buds were swarming off with each other to this country barn place- without me. I also sent an email to my best friend (who had basically arranged the whole thing) but she denied that they were all going as well, so I took down the post.

Guess what. Go on, guess.

Turns out she had lied about it. Monday morning one of the girls came over to me and my friend and handed her a pair of socks, saying, "here you go, you left these at the barn yesterday."
I was gutted. To be perfectly honest, I would have been fine (only a little mad) if my friend had told me straight out, but now I feel like she was going around my back. That sounds so controlling, but you know what I mean. I felt just a little betrayed- wouldn't you?

I'm sort of over it, but its driving me mad at school because they keep on talking about it. :(

I've probably bored you, so this is where this post ends!

~Katkin

Hiya...

I'm bored, so I'm doing a wee bit of sewing. I'll let you know how it turns out...

Wooo! 70,000 words- I'm on a roll! Another Life is almost finished- finally!

I'm lonely....

I feel really lonely at the minute- I wish I had someone to talk to... All my friends are at a coolio birthday party which I wasn't invited to. :( It's strange because the girl in question has been one of my friends all through out my school days- I even knew her in nursery! I invite her to every party I throw, so isn't it maybe just slightly common curtuesy to invite me to at least one of her partys? I'm dreading tomorrow, its always the same. Everyone will be talking about how brilliant the party was and I'll just be sitting at my desk wishing I was anywhere but there. Hmm, you probably think I'm stupid about getting hung up over this, but I'm always the loner; the one who always gets overlooked. I've sorta grown use to it so, hmm.

Better stop mopeing- what use will it serve me apart from making me even more glum?

If you havn't given up on reading this mopey post then you're an angel!

~Katkin

The Velvet Underground ROCKS!

Just though I'd let you know.

~Katkin

Ok, ok....

I'll do a proper post today- promise! :D Hmmm, what to write about... Nothing much has gone on in my life, I'm very, very boring.
The most exciting thing thats happened to me all week was last night when I went to art club with my best friend. We're making these pyramid lantern thingys and we have finished the basic structure of ours. We have also covered it with gloopy glue and tissue paper. Honestly, you don't want to meet me when I'm covered with glue up to my elbows. I go bonkers, honestly! I swear I'm getting clumsier by the day, I'm always rushing about like a headless chicken, bashing into stuff- and people! Ooops....
Got to go, I have to watch Outnumbered!
Wasn't house good on sunday? Can't believe towel is having yet another affair!

~Katkin

(Oh, I've almost finished my book! Yay!)

Musings

Theres more to life than books.....

But not much more.

Yay!

I've wrote 60,000 words of Another Life! :D


~Katkin